Happy Mother's Day!!

Austin age 16
Ashley age 14
Adam age 10
Aaron age 8

Happy Mothers Day part 2

Braydon age 6
Conner age 4
Nathan age 2
Rachel age 17 months

Progress report

Day #8 of no pop
Day #1 of no cursing. I slipped while driving yesterday. OOPS
Day #8 of no fast food. Subway does not count. Had a chicken sub yesterday. It is healthy.

Weight 249??????

What is up with that?

Best friend had her baby yesterday. Baby #6. Boy named Luke. Cute cute cute!

A boy and his truck

Okay...this is such an answer to prayer. Austin has been saving his money forever, and we told him once he completed 6 full months of accident/ticket free driving, he could start looking for a truck. That was up in March. He has been scouring the want ads, and internet ads like crazy since. Everything was either too expensive, too far away or sold. He was getting a little frustrated, but held his attitude in check, and was finally rewarded today. This is his new baby. Its a 1996 Dodge Ram 1500 Laramie. He haggled with the guy and got it for 2750.00. Absolutely nothing wrong with it except the paint is messed up in some spots due to the clear coat coming off. This is a blessing.....

Also, we are now borrowing a car from a church friend. Took back the rental and are good for 3 weeks to find something else, or fix Tony's car. This car we are borrowing isnt great, but it will do the job of getting him back and forth.

Thank you Lord for your blessings today.

Oh, and Happy 8th birthday Aaron!!! He got star wars legos, batman glasses, money, and chocolate cookies. He also gets to stay up late today. WooHoo! Where has the time gone?

progress report

Day # 5 of no pop!!
Day #3 of no curse words uttered from my mouth
Day #5 of no fast food

Why is the headache still there? Weight 248

I can do this, darn it. See....I would have said another word 3 days ago...Yeah me!!

Maybe if we dont drink soda or eat fast food ever again, we can afford another car. Ya think?

Anybody out there??????

Cars......what are they good for????

They are droppin' like flies, ladies and gents. By they, I mean the cars. We are down to just the 12 passenger van, and boy that doesn't look very proffessional to drive to jobs in. We are down 50.00 for a short term rental that runs out tomorrow, and down 100.00 for a tow and diagnostic to find out that Tony's car will need a 700.00 repair. We need prayers here. Oh, and lest you think we should spend that 700.00 to fix his car, let me give you some history. Its a 1993 Subaru Impreza with 250,000 miles on it. We bought it for 700.00, spent 700.00 to fix something or other right when we got it, spent another 700.00 2 years later, and here we are 2 more years later. It's wanting to die.............

Austin

This child....this man? What do I call him? He is so large. 6'3" tall and muscles to make a lady swoon. So very tender and funny, this one. Rachel has him so wrapped around her finger, so much so that all she has to do it twitch and he picks her up and snuggles with her. He is great to do all those "hard" things that mom finds for him, like get the box off the top shelf, or carry this very heavy box. He does it with such ease and good nature.

It shouldn't be this easy, being a parent. People always wonder why we have so many kids, and I have to think that I do because of this one. If they all turn out as great as he has, then I must be doing something right, and its so much fun. He still hugs me with great bear hugs, holds my hand, places his head on my shoulder when he gets up in the morning to say hi, and talks to me. It makes my heart hurt when I hear people saying that their teen doesn't want to do anything with them.....that their teen is embarrased to be around them. I am so close to my children, that it would physically rip my heart out if they shunned me, and blocked me out of their lives.

So, yeah. If they all grow up to be like this one, then I will keep wanting more. Nathan, I am a little worried about...but that is its own little post. Did I mention that he is two????????

whats happening on the home front??

Blogging must be a winter thing...cause who can find time once it warms up? We are outside, hanging out, learning how to ride bikes, playing with bugs, mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, and just plain relaxing.

This has been a whirlwind week, and now, we are down 2 cars to just our very new, very large van. This is a problem. My husband takes our 2 oldest boys on their paper routes on sunday, and there is no way they are taking the van. The sheer cost of gas would be outrageous, and then you have the wear and tear, plus those dirty nasty papers...Ick! Why did both of our cars have to break down???? One, we just sent to the scrap yard, because it has a blown engine. The other one, my husbands work car, just stopped in the middle of the very busy main street, and refuses to start again.

In the midst of helping Austin get it situated in a parking lot, someone else's car died and so he ran to help them push theirs out of the road. Ever positive me thought, "oh...so thats why God let our car die.....so we would be here to help them!!! Now that we helped them, it will start again, and no worries" Oh, I was a faithful one....but nothing. Didn't start. Do I still have faith that He is using this for some purpose? Yes, I do! But, could ya pray that He provides us with a temporary fix for the next week? Thanks......

hello to all

Hi Robyn....I emailed you friday. Did you get it? Huh, huh?



Hi Joann.....I got your email, and will reply sometime...hopefully....if these kids leave me alone long enough to think in coherant sentences.

Any one want some children? They are sorta useful. They give good hugs.



I need a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pressing life questions

why does it feel like my life is just zooming by at 100 mph? Is this a sign of getting older? Really, I feel like I have one foot in the grave or something. Every day it seems like I just got out of bed, and then it's time to get back in. When I was younger, the days and months just D-R-A-G-G-E-D- by...not anymore. I don't like it at all. Is this common? Am I experiencing a mid life crisis or something? UGH!

where have I been today

This is what we have been doing today....all morning was devoted to this, the $3700.00 (no insurance)smile.

Garage sale over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yippee....or something like that. I did it! I had the yard sale. ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! We made 853.00 and blessed 3 families with completely free stuff, and donated the huge leftovers (that took a car, a truck and a van to carry) to a mission benefit yard sale. Have huge amounts of clothes left, but will consign those at a consignement shop in May. Big massive yard sale. 10 tables from church, 2 tables from me, a card table, buckets and boxes were not enough, and lots of things probably weren't seen until wayyyy later, but it's all good. Next project is to work on the huge amount of computer stuff in the garage and make several computers to sell. See, Robyn....it was worth it, and we blessed people in the process. Besides being cheap stuff, you can't beat free either. My husband passed out his business cards to lots of people, so he got his name out there. My kids learned how to negotiate, and help people.....and talk to people. No one can ever say my kids are not socialized. That's a bunch of malarky! These pictures were taken very late in the day, so you can see the sheer number of things that were still left. We stopped selling at 7:00 pm. Seriously......... And one picture of Rachel, shopping. She was checking the stuff out from her walker...cute? (pictures later....internet all wonky)

randomosities....... (is that a word?)

Woot! I had the big exam today. No, not THAT one....my eye exam. They have gotten worse, go figure. My pregnancies are hard on the little things. My eyeball is very healthy though...just blind. I would like to believe that Lasik would work for me, but I am skeptical....

Still trying to figure out when to hold this silly yard sale. Last week was perfect, but my kids wanted me to hang out with them at the art fair. To make it better for me, they found 7.00 worth of quarters in the big dirt pile that they have every year for the kids to dig in. They got very messy, but it was all fun. We then went and ate our fill of 10 cent hot dogs. Then we came home with enough time for the older ones to turn around and attend a free college football game. Soooo, here we are, still in a holding pattern. The good news is I am still finding more stuff to put in it.

Baby girl

One of the rare times she laughs. We can tickle her on one day and not faze her...but the next, she just laughs until she can't breathe. Typical girl....

rant rant rant.......

This is an extension of my dumb people post. I have had it with customer service. In no less than one week, we have left messages to DHS, Dentist, Company who owes Tony money, Doctor office, Lady who needs some items that I have, and someone else who I can't remember. All of these people will not return phone calls. Is this a thing of the past? If someone calls you, call them back already! This is one of my worst pet peeves, right behind being late. I hate being late. No one is so important that they should make people wait on them, except God. My husband ALWAYS makes people wait, and that one thing right there has made me contemplate bodily injury many times.

But, about the phone calls. Several of these people are working for me. If they want to continue getting my money, don't you think they would want to keep me happy? And another of these people have dragged their feet on a goverment thing for over 2 months. Can they legally do that? They claim that they don't know how to deal with a self employed husband, a self employed child who has a large bank account, homeschoolers, and all that jazz. It is not my fault that they are clueless....is it? The one who owes us money is really ticking me off....because I hate to be owed money for a job my husband did, only to have him do another job for the same company. It seems like fraud.

Boy, I am in a mood today, huh?

My Canon affair

Have I mentioned I love this camera? Well, I do. I used a telephoto lens just now and stood in my driveway and took a clear shot of the license plates of the guy on the next block all the way down. WooHoo....

Oh, and a shot of Chewy, with Conner.

speech graduation!!!!!

Today, we had a graduation from speech therapy party! It was a big hit in our house. All 4 middle boys were in speech therapy, with the same problems amazingly enough. Conner got out about 1 and 1/2 months ago, Braydon and Aaron got out 1 month ago, and finally Adam got out today. We promised them that when they were done, we would celebrate. And celebrate we did. We got a cake, and lime sherbet ice cream for the food, and then had a huge banner with tons of star wars stuff. Surely you remember that star wars is a little big in our house?? They got much stuff, and were thrilled. Then we went out for happy meal thursday and ate at McDonalds. Then, we went to party warehouse to buy Nathan a "saber" too, and to the Dollar Tree to look around. All in all, a good evening. We love surprises, and a surprise this was as well. No one had a clue!

Songs for Thursday

rain rain, go away, come again some other day......seriously!

Our garage-flooded (nothing damaged though, because after the last time, I put everything on plastic buckets.
Our laundry room-flooded. I guess God wants me to do laundry
Our back yard-flooded. No one gets to play outside and that makes a cranky momma


We have had enough rain, God. Thanks for it, but take it away now. Please?

Aaron

This little toot was just caught reading a story to his younger 2 brothers. It was soooo sweet. The three of them were all curled up in the chaise lounge chair in the library/rachel's room, just having a good time. He is such an awesome big brother.....

Catching up on a Sunday....

Well, what a week! There is so much to get done when you try to declutter, have a garage sale, feed children, and sleep! I haven't finished the garage sale stuff....there is so much more to do. I am out of hangers! I still have more to put in from my home. I vacillate between having certain people in need come and "shop" through my stuff and take what they need as a blessing, to having anyone from my church come look and take what they need, to having the sale and using the money to fund a vacation or possibly use it to fund a trip to see a very distinquished doctor in the field of microcephaly to find out what his opinion on Rachel is. This doctor is in Chicago, and is probably very hard to get in to see. What to do??? I am waiting on God's direction, and we still have time before we get all the enormous tables.

I can't believe how much I allowed myself and my family to wallow in. There has to be some psycosis involved as to why I bought soooo much stuff, and then couldn't figure out what to do with it. It's almost as if I enjoyed being surrounded by stuff. It was a shelter to protect me from the outside world, partly, but then I do think there is something to only knowing where an item is when it's all over the place. Brilliant people are often cluttered people. You clean their space, and they can't function. They probably didn't have 8 children though, so I can't use that excuse.

We are getting ready for summer. I want to go camping for the first time in my life. I have never been! Can you believe that? I have either been a working mom with no time, or pregnant, in which case I just didn't feel like camping. Or I had a new baby that just didn't seem like the camping type yet. Or the baby who was crawling everywhere, and didn't like to be held, so I thought said children would be eaten by a snake or fall into a river somewhere. But now!!!! I have zero excuses to use, and we WILL BE GOING CAMPING! Come hell or high water. My children are so excited. We have had everything one could possibly need to camp forever, in anticipation of this. So, now is the time. We will probably be coordinating this with another family in our town, who enjoys noisy children, and likes us. That in itself is odd. We aren't real sought out people around here. People either think we are weird, or contagious. LOL!

I really need to figure out what I am going to do about some birthday parties that certain people are wanting. I let them have a cake and punch at the church with their respective youth/children groups, but that doesn't seem to suffice. Are they greedy and only want presents, or do they just enjoy a smaller gathering? I hope it's the latter, because the former makes me sound like an awful mother. I told myself that when Ashley turned 13, that would be it for the parties, but she is saddened by that idea. I would LOVE to have the kind of party the Jeub family has. A big birthday bash for the whole family, once a year. Cook food for everyone, and just have a big shindig. Except my house would not fit that many people, and what are the logistics of presents? Do you just get one from someone who is around your age? What if they all have the same friends? Surely you dont expect one for each kid from a guest? I just know it would be so much easier to do it all at once, and get it over with. Huge parties are fun....Maybe soon I will start to implement something like it.

We are now the "proud" owners of a handicapped placard for our vehicles. It will make things easier the bigger Rachel gets, being closer to stores and doctors offices, but it will feel corny with all the kiddos piling out of this huge van in the handicapped stalls. I hope people are kind and not stare or ask us which one is the disabled person. That would be tacky and put my children in an embarrassing position.

It's funny, but in closing I just thought of this....Yesterday, my children did their paper routes, and saw a couple of garage sales they wanted to go to. I have taught my children to be frugal and look for good deals, and now we are really concentrating on what we NEED instead of just getting all the good stuff. Lord, I don't want them to be like me when they get out on their own. Anywho....this one they went to had a big sign out front that said "Dave Ramsey made us have this yard sale" Isn't that funny? Well, maybe not if you haven't taken Financial Peace, but to those who know....he advocates selling everything that isn't breathing to get rid of your debt. Don't buy stuff just because...and stay away from credit cards. They kill you!!!! It seems everyone we meet lately is taking Financial Peace. It's a great course, but one that will probably need a repeat time to soak it all in.

Love you Robyn, and JoAnn, and MamaArcher( Kristine) and Jane. If you have read this far, your good friends.

Oh, oh!! One more thing! We got that awesome camera I think I talked about before. Did I talk about a camera? I hope so. Anyway, a customer of my husbands has this awesome Canon 30D SLR camera and he wanted Tony to figure out how to use it and teach him. Well, Tony brought it home and I promptly fell in love with it. He figured out some stuff and took it back. Well the guy said it was too complex, and wondered if we wanted to buy it, and he would buy something else. We asked how much? Its about a 1200.00 dollar camera! He wanted us to make an offer. We prayed and each of us came up with 500.00. We told him, and he agreed. But in the meantime, he wanted to be able to use it for family gatherings until his new one came in. So we were borrowing it for free until then. One day he called and said he had been thinking about the camera and how much it was worth, and would we reconsider? He wanted 650.00 We said we would think about it, and came to the conclusion that we were obviously told by God to spend 500.00 and nothing else. I guess Tony told him that it was above our budget, and that we were sorry. 2 weeks pass and he calls us and tells us that he will sell it for the original price. Either God worked on him to hold to his word, or he just really wanted to sell it for this new one. Either way, we have a blessing! This camera is so awesome!!!! I am usually such a penny pincher that it was a huge deal for me to agree to. However, I love taking pictures of my children, so they are worth it. This is a camera I have seen professionals use, so woohoo!!

Where I have been all week

this is why I have been absent again. Finally getting all the stuff organized for the yard sale. One rack alone has 185 clothes on it. If I sell each one of those for a dollar, I will make 185.00 on just that rack. Its name brand baby stuff...name brand girls stuff...and just generic boys stuff. All those boxes on the other picture hold stuff in half, and books in the other half. They are 2 deep and floor to ceiling. This doesnt even show you the other wall filled floor to ceiling with book boxes, or the full sized bed with boxes of clothes that still need to be hung on hangers. I have NEVER had a yard sale this big in my life!

Rachel eating her first whole jar of baby food

Quality hair cuts?? April Fools

Braydon
Adam

Aaron

Nathan- who is always covered in boo boo's
Conner--ha ha. You can see the hairs on his chin!
It's the semi annual hair cut of the boys. Except this year, Rachel got in on the action. She had lots of fly aways on the side, so they are gone now. Its still sorta long on the back. Let the sweating begin!! only pic we are missing is Austin...

Here's a video for you...complete with muppet voice

(written by Adam) rachel playing on the floor with one of the boys toys. so cute!!!! And a bonus snippet of Conner...one of the other cuties.

You know you have a large family when???

I had to laugh when I read Mama Archer's Thursday 13, about "you know you have a large family when." I would link here, if you wanted to read hers, but I am not sure if it's okay and then I would have to figure out how. Anyway... I thought I would add a few of my own, because they always make me laugh, and they are soooo true.

1.)You think a sale on name brand good baby wipes is the jackpot, and you buy 85 boxes of them!! People thought I was running a daycare or something!

2.)I don't know if this is a positive or not, but I have to think of my children in order...like if I am being asked when so and so's birthday is, I have to run down the list--in order--mentally, before I can figure it out.

3.)If you skip laundry for even a week, your stuck doing it ALL DAY long! LOL.

4.)You can go to the grocery store, and buy 2 loaves of bread, 2 gallons of milk, 2 boxes of cereal, and some fruit, and it is only intended for 1 meal!!

5.)You go shopping for furniture and you are forced to figure out how to buy extra pieces of them, that match, because you have many bottoms that need to sit on them. We have 2 couches, 1 loveseat, 1 recliner, and 1 chaise lounge. That's still not enough some days.

6.)When it takes close to 100.00 to fill your gas tank..."nuff said?

7.)When you actually needed 2 cribs at one time, for different aged children.

8.)When you find a good deal on sale, and buy tons because you know many people will be using it. Yes, this kind of goes along with the baby wipes, but they really aren't fun. I am talking about legos, and cars, and paper. Woo Boy...we go through the paper in our house. I just recently bought these huge paper bundles and only had to pay 10.00 or so...shipped. BARGAIN!!

9.)You have been known to combine childrens birthday parties. They may or may not get their own cakes if they aren't old enough to know....but when you only have so much time?? They do get separate presents (except that one time all the little boys were the same age range...) but they did get to open their own gifts.

10.)And the finale? When you notice people counting your children. Also, if they are wrong, you feel the compelling need to correct them. Much to their astonishment. (this is hubby's pastime)

Babies Babies Everywhere.....

I really think God is changing my heart. I see babies everywhere, and if there isn't a baby, there is a pregnant mommy. I had a dream the other night that I had another baby....Last night my husband dreamed we had a curly headed baby. Now, that would be a first, as all my other babies were bald, with the exception of Aaron-the dark headed child.

I am just so stuck with Rachel being so much like an infant, and how it could possibly be with 2. I suppose this is what twins could feel like?

In any event, I do believe we are rounding a corner in this. I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. However...with all these dreams about girls, we would need to re-adjust our thinking, because we only have a little boys name picked out. LOL!!

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS MamaArcher!!

When it rains, it pours............

Well, today has proved just as adventurous as yesterday. I spent several hours in the er with Nathan. He was hanging out with the brothers in the skating area of our local park, and the spring loaded gate was opened by one brother, and nathan somehow got his thumb stuck in the back part when it closed. It was bleeding everywhere, and we were rather far away from the hospital... Nothing broken, but his nail will likely fall off and be hurting for some time. Here is a pic of the very sad boy...before his codeine medicine kicked in.

Ashley and heart issues

Man, this parenting gig....it's for the birds, I tell ya! The latest journey I am traveling now deals with my oldest daughter. She is miss lanky, tall and skinny. She weighs 110 soaking wet, and is 5'9" tall. So, when she started experiencing chest pain and fast heartbeats, I thought it was from growing. It's not gone away, and her birth father died from a heart attack in his 30's, so I am getting a little worried. We took her to the doctor today, and she heard no murmurs or anything weird, but she got x-rays and blood work done, and will get to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours. This is scary! I am always grace under pressure, and no one thinks I am really concerned about things, and most of the time, I am not....simply because I know minor stuff is no big deal and will go away. This is not minor, and I really pray that nothing is wrong with her heart. Genetics is a big deal, but her birth father wasn't the healthiest of individuals. That makes a difference. However, His father died from a heart attack when he was a kid, so maybe there is more to it. Anyway, if its not one thing, its another.....Just when I got the house mostly done and thought I would have time to blog, I need to monitor a heart holster and take my kiddo to the hospital for tests. Oh boy.....

Lord, keep my baby safe!

Dont judge me......

Please love me enough not to judge me for these before and afters. Most embarrasing thing to do is to be real. I am a messy person....my husband is a messy person...I have spent my entire life messy. I hate it and I have hated myself for it. I never invite people over, and I panic if the doorbell rings.

Except, I had Rachel....I have to let her therapists in. And her developmental people in....and possibly a wheelchair someday. I cant keep them sequestered in the clean living room that just managed to get clean the hour before they got here. I have had it with the mess. Something clicked last week, and rather than just superficially cleaning for spur of the moment stuff, I really cleaned. And cleaned, and purged. I am pooped, but not done, and I am still driven.

I should clarify...My children are taken care of. They are bathed and have clean clothing. The kitchen is most always clean. They have clean dishes to eat off of. I am not as bad as others I have seen, but still...when your child breaks their own toys because they are everywhere, or slips on messy stuff and bonks his or her head, and you know its your fault, well then what kind of parent are you??? I wondered for so many years what the heck God was doing, sending me these kids. I couldnt keep my house clean, why did He think I could raise them.

But you know what? They are healthy, happy kids, and now that I have this thing figured out, we will be able to make a positive change. We wont panic when the doorbell rings....we wont slip on stuff all over the floor. I wont lose books that belong to the library, and pay a heck of a fine. I wont buy things over and over because I couldnt find the first one. I can relax in my bedroom, and not be surrounded with mess.

God sent me Rachel for a reason. Maybe this was the reason. Or maybe, she is just helping me be who I could have been years ago.

Before and After of the library/baby room

This was typical of this room...books everywhere, getting stepped on.
Books falling over and in every single area of the bookshelves...
now, one whole unit with the doors is completely empty...there is space in the other unit, and each layer with books has room to move, so the kids can get the books out. They were stuffed full before.
The floor!! I hauled out over 10 boxes, some really large boxes, of duplicate books, and books we will never read, and board books that Nathan just doesn't need. He has a basketfull...that is enough. We had at least 3 basketfulls before purging.

Before and After pics of boys room...

Actually, the before was much worse by the time I got to cleaning. Forgive the bed, but his comforter was in the baby's room and she was asleep. I pulled a 32 gallon trash container of trash out of this room...and 4 boxes of stuff to sell.

Missing in action

I have been MIA these last few days. I will continue to be MIA because between dr. visits/dental visits/therapy visits, and the strong desire to finally get my ENTIRE house taken care of, I have other things to do at the moment than figure out what to write here.

I love all who read, and please don't forget me. I will try to email each one of you periodically, but until I get this taken care of, I wont be myself. We need serious plumbing, and ac work, and my house has to be way better than it is....also decluttering needs done. Wish me good housekeeping skills.

Oh, I weigh 245....boo!

Rachel's dr visit....

Rachel weighed 15 pounds 12 oz today. She has an ear infection...so that stinks. But otherwise, our most imunocompromised child is healthy. We applied for a handicapped placard tag today. It will get progressively harder to carry her everywhere, so we might as well get one now. It will make parking much easier.

Her MRI showed that she still is consistant with Dandy Walker Varient. Sutures werent noticed, but the doctor said that it would become evident that her brain is under stress before the problems occurred (meaning her skull would start to look odd and lumpy etc) so most likely, her bones wont fuse for a long time, and it will take her brain to grow for it to spread her skull. In all likelyhood, her brain/head growth will probably be just as slow as the rest of her growth and developement. My husband brought up a good point earlier. Progeria patients progress very rapidly....Rachel seems like the exact opposite. Every single thing about her takes a very long time. Even her fingernails...and her hair....and her developement. So...it looks like her brain has developed ridges consitant with growth, but the overall size is still the same. End of story about that........

progress report

Still sick (not me, but I do feel blah)......weight 243. Been drinking soda. Why is this stuff like a drug to me???

I wont be on much because my husband is taking leave from work and I need him to help me with the house. wish us nice organizing skills....

Monday morning weigh in

Weight this morning was 244/245 depending on which reading you wanted to believe. I hate this scale. Its a digital weight watchers scale, and it wasnt cheap, but it sure doesnt work properly. My husband was 205 for those interested....he was up to 210 a couple of weeks ago.

We are all sick, and multiple children up in the middle of the night is not a fun occurance in our home. Fevers, and body aches all around. I just might have to get a pop! Sorry, but its a comfort food, and if ever a momma of 8 sick people needed comfort, its now!!

progress and homeschooling

Hello saturday... You greeted me this morning with a weigh in of 244. 245 occasionally, depending on which way I stood on the scale. So, either way...i will take it. I had a pop yesterday, a small one, but that's all it took to get that gosh darn craving out of the way. I don't even want one this morning, so it didn't kill me.

I exercised on the treadmill 2 times yesterday, and i can feel the soreness today. That is the hardest part about weight loss and exercise...the soreness that makes you feel like you can't move. I know logically I just need to keep at it, and eventually the soreness will fade, but getting there is difficult.

Went and spent 200.00 on test prep books for my kids today. I have no idea if they are at grade level, and so we are gonna check. This california homeschool law is scaring the crap out of me. I think I am safe because it is written in our constitution that we can homeschool, but who knows which lawmaker is seeking to change it and whether they can. I know the schools are ticked that they dont get funding for the children they dont teach, but they sure as heck get my house tax money. that is bad enough.

off to get them started on their tests....I hope I am pleasantly surprised.

progress day whatever it is

Doing good. Still have headache and not much energy today...Weight was 243 no pop, no fast fod. so very tired. I walked 1/2 a mile on my treadmill today and yesterday too. Did I mention tired? I have kids to take care of and I cant find the energy to do it. This sucks.........

musings about my baby

I need to make a post about Rachel again. I promise, I love all my children equally, but working through Rachel's disability is one of the reasons I made this blog. I am going to have seperate posts about my other kiddos soon.

Her head is soooo tiny. I love it so much. It fits into the palm of my hand and it fits in the crook of my neck.... I also hate it, because it represents what is causing her disabilities. Can you love something and hate it too? Over this past year and 3 months, I have had an infant. She has truly made me keenly aware of infanthood. That usually is a stage where its gone in a flash, and you wonder what happened? Honestly, I love having a little tiny person to still snuggle with and kiss. Her tiny fingers, and her tiny toes...All little baby things. I know she is growing some...its evident on her scale weigh ins. Last one she weighed 16 pounds...so she is moving up there. Her head isn't so lucky. It still is 15 inches in circumference. That is 2 inches bigger than birth. I know the bigger her body gets, the smaller her head will look. I am okay with that....I think. I just wish I knew how to make it grow.

I worry about seizures and development. I mean, she is trying to crawl, and she is now doing a little version of the army crawl. It's slow, but it's there. She loves~ loves~ loves toys. I can keep her happy forever with just a toy. She is so different than all my other children, because they were so uninterested in toys. They wanted to be held, fed, nursed, played with, and fed some more. She is so content to just look at people, and play with toys. Sometimes, i can forget that she is here, because she is so happy and content. Truly, when she cries, there is SOMETHING wrong, because she never cries.

Will she always be this content and happy? Will she develop seizures that cause her pain? What will we do then? This is the life of a parent with a child who has disabilities....the every single day of uncertainty. I know....parents in general-people in general even, deal with uncertainties. Will I get into a car accident? Will I lose my job? Whatever the case may be. But it's different in the disabled world. Everyday life is or could be compromised. It's so damn frustrating! Doctors, specialists, medicine...they are all fleeting at best and useless at worst.

progress day 2

Well, another day gone with no pop! WOOHOO! What I ate? Let's see. We had CiCi's pizza last night, but I had a huge salad, small plate of noodles, and 3 thin crust ole pizzas that have hamburger, pizza sauce and lettuce on it. Tiny bit of crusty brownie. (I shared with Rachel...you should have seen her face) For lunch I had a little bit of macaroni with steak strips. For breakfast I had a bacon and shredded cheese tortilla. 1/2 a donut. Handful of whales crackers. water water water...I am floating! I dreamed I was pregnant and my belly was already getting big! Woke up, and realized it was just my bladder. Good lord....does this part go away? I forget.

After CiCi's my husband and I walked all around the strip mall, and we parked far away. Then we went shopping and parked as far from the place we wanted to go as possible, and walked again. So I got the exercise in!

Scale again said 245. I know its a bad thing to weigh yourself every day, but its a habit. I tend to get excited at the littlest loss, so if i see it, its motivation.

me me me me me

See that there pooch in my midsection? It housed 9 children....it served me well. I just don't much care for it, either. It could house another child or 3 much smaller. I have seen skinny people give birth before. It does happen. But this is me every day...big clothes, comfy pants, and crocs.

Most embarrassing post ever!!!!

Pardon the goofy shorts. I just wanted to wear things that showed my sheer "beauty" and these were it. I was NOT going to wear a bathing suit! That would be ewww...Look at my arms, and my neck. It needs to go! Out darn fat...out.

Words from Rachel

Hey everyone...my mom is gonna look good in a few weeks...just wait and see!!!

Progress report

What did I eat yesterday? Bowl of rice crispies and milk. 1/2 bag of peanut butter ritz (small bag) one of those tiny bacon cheeseburgers from wendy's. Piece of toast with cheese. Macaroni cheese and grilled chicken strips. One doughnut and a small hunk of chocolate bar. Water water water....

This morning I have had 1/2 a doughnut and lots of water already. Usually the second day of no soda kills me. That would be today for those not paying attention :) Had headache yesterday all day and its still here today. It usually gets worse.

Scale said 245 today.

Rachel.......

Lookie who just finished a whole jar of baby food squash and didn't end up spitting it all back out. No, its not me....I am not dieting that much...yet.


Isn't she cute?? She has always been this cute. She hasn't however always eaten her baby food. She loves the experience, but generally gags and spits it all back out. This time, it was a success!

Tuesday check in for weight stuff

Okay, so....I am trying this weight loss deal. I still dont have my measurements, but does fat all over cover it? If so...then great.

Scale this morning said 247. Oh boy! I was finally down to 242, but that's gone. I have eaten a bowl of rice crispies and milk, and have cleaned my house like a mad woman. I will confess to have taken my phentermine diet aid, so maybe the energy is from that, but hopefully its just from the fact that I feel good again now that my "friend" is gone.

Its 1:22 and I am still not hungry from breakfast. I have drunk lots of water, so that is helping. Update later with rest of todays food and or excersise stuff. I will probably do this alot in the first few days just to keep myself motivated. I dont expect either one of you to do it. If you want to, then great....but dont think I am setting the bar for you to. K.

Pray for me.......and I will pray for you also!

scrappin' sis

My daughter is scrapbooking again. She has many different types, and this is her latest. I am serious when I say a scrapbook can be whatever you want it to be. This is Nathan. She has lots of pics of him. I got my new camera and I took way too many photos, and she got the excess.

ewwww...face shot

My face photo from today....2 minutes ago as a matter of fact. I don't know why but my face bothers me more than my whole body. Maybe the reason is because I see it more, and vanity perhaps overshadows all. I do know that my arms bother me, and my legs. They used to look GOOD, let me tell you. Now, I have fat on my knees. Why do you get fat on your knees?? Anyway, here I am in all my glory. I am cleaning house, so give me a break. I am also on the phone with my honey. He just asked me if I wanted a pop. I said NO! Wish me luck.

HI JOANN!!!!!!

I do know what you look like, but it's not an up close shot...so it's not the same. You will have to post one too. LOL. And I am glad you are still here. You should join our challenge. We can all get skinny together. :)

HI ROBYN.

Nothing to report, but I notice you've been here, so I wanted to give you something new to read. How about answering my email? Hmmm? You know...if you have nothing better to do. Oh, and you can post a current photo of you, ya know....to help with the challenge, and just to see what you look like now. If you want to.... :)

The zoo!!!!