Friday, February 29, 2008

Random musings on a warm friday afternoon

Why I have been so quiet lately...

1.) its warm, and the kids like mommy to go outside with them every now and again.
2.)its warm and mommy feels like cleaning...a little
3.)its warm and the van needed detailing because we are going to the zoo tomorrow and who wants to ride in a messy van?
4.)I am still on my "friend' so I feel like crud....
5.)I can't think of much to say anyway.

So, with all due respect, give a gal a break already!! Just kidding. I know my only 2 readers will understand why there have been few and far between posts. I honestly have no idea how people who get paid to do this, do it. Do they make stuff up?? Are their lives more interesting than mine? That must be it.

A little funny about the picture. Braydon was outside in his undies, and facing the other way...The boys told me to take a pic of him, and when he turned around and saw me, he tried to cover himself. Ha! Funny stuff, my house.

Do you want to see me when I was a little girl. I was cute!!! I look just like Conner. See?



Don't you just love how my mom had to put an arrow above me, so she could remember where I was years later??? My own mother was afraid she wouldn't recognize me? Scary stuff.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Scrapbooks.....

Hello, Wednesday. I have to acknowledge you, because I have missed Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. What is with me??? I cant think of anything earth shattering to write about. You know...like all that other earth shattering stuff I have written about. Snicker!!

Well, I started my "friend" and once again, I was disappointed. Like surprise!!! You're not pregnant. Gee, you think?? Will I ever get past this???

On to other news...I am starting AGAIN on my children's scrapbooks. I take a million pictures a day it seems, and I am making each child their own personalized scrapbook or scrapbooks as it seems to be with the oldest two. I get pictures, stickers, rubber stamps and markers/glitter pens/etc to make it completely their own book. Some photos are hard to figure out whose book I am going to put it in, because there are multiple children in them. I thought this whole scrapbook was a GREAT idea, except one day it hit me. They are going to want to take them when they leave home......and that is all the pictures I have of that child. They CAN'T take them!!! I wont be able to look back at them, and what if they lose them??? What a quandry!! So, I guess they can look through them when they come over to visit, but they dont get them until I die. Is this fair??? :)

Wish me continued happiness with these things. I am so far behind, but I am not starting from zero, so I am doing better than some people I know. Its just a never ending job, and when you're behind, it's easy to burn out.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

30 hour famine...and God's purpose

I kind of hit a writing block lately. I have been so busy reading everyone else's comments and such, that I can't seem to form my own entries. It sure helps to have controversy... :) Robyn.

Anywho, I do have something to write about today. My oldest 2 children are experiencing hunger. They are taking part in a 30 hour fast for world vision. It is hard to be hungry. In this day and age, with $1.00 burgers everywhere, it seems so far fetched to realize that there are in fact hungry people~ in this country even! I really feel ashamed that I would watch those television shows about the hungry children in Africa or wherever, and snack on some potato chips without even thinking about it. We are such a materialistic society, and not many people really stop to think how others really have it. They were created by God just the same as we are, they are loved by God just the same as we are...So, why do we have it so much better than they do? It hardly makes sense.

My husband and oldest once went on a mission trip to Honduras, and they saw firsthand what true poverty was like. A man driving a cart FULL of fruit was trying to sell some just to get a little spending money for his family. Our pastor bought the ENTIRE cart for 60.00. This was enough money for this guy for a couple of months probably. The church group spent the next hour handing out the food to the villagers. That tiny blessing from them made a huge impact on those people.

We as a christian people need to make more of these "little" blessings happen. It's good that our children can get a little glimpse of what its like to be one of these people. Granted, it's a little cheesy because they get juice and water, and a heated building, and friends around, but its the little exposures that can make a big thought happen. I know my oldest wants to be a missionary. He is very secure in his faith, and his mission trips have helped mold that desire. We can be comfy in our own homes, or we can step out and truly experience life beyond our own front doors.

This is why I respect both you, Robyn and you, Joann. Both of you have reached beyond your comfort zones and did things that were hard. Getting rid of very sentimental things and living simply HAS to be hard. Getting rid of the lifestyle you were used to, and living to please your husband and God had to be difficult. Also, adopting 2 children just when you thought you were done with that part of life was HARD. Making a difference to those two babies will be worth it, but making that step was probably not an easy one. Sure, you both are doing it for people you love, so it was "sort of" easy, but really....it wasn't. The world needs more people like you guys.

I hope God uses my children for good things...I hope they answer that call. I hope He uses me and my husband for a matter of fact. We will not grow in Christ, unless we answer that call. The call to go above and beyond for a greater purpose.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Writing sheets...so cool!


Isn't this the neatest thing ever? My husband figured out how to make these printer sheets, with lines showing directions, and it all prints out with lines and words at one time. You can even print them without the directional lines, once they figure them out. Many different kinds of fonts, and even cursive. It is totally individualized for each child and they love it. We are going to use them for penpal sheets too. This way they can tell me what they want to say, and I can type it up for them...and then they write it out. Go HUBBY!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Organizing stuff





This is what I have accomplished today. Hall closet/pantry. Look at photos...pat me on the back. I don't feel good. Must have finally caught what husband has.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fear....Don't read unless your a psychologist. (ha)

Today, we are going to talk about finishing....Work, house, books, crafts, etc. What do I have against finishing? Is it a fear of being done?? I am sure there is so psycosis going on.

I never complete anything and its driving me mad!! Its almost as if I live to have something always available to do. Like, as if I were done, I may have nothing else to live for. Hmmm?

I know sometimes I keep my house messy so I will have an excuse to keep people away. Is that stupid? I don't want just anyone around me. So, that provides an opportune excuse to use. I dont LIKE it...I am changing it, but that is why it's there. I am a loner, remember?

But, what prevents me from ever completing my children's scrapbooks? Is it because I am too far behind? Is it because if I ever finish, it will acknowledge that they have grown up faster than I wanted them too?

I have this awful fear....of dying, of my children dying, of my husband dying. I have always had this fear. I remember the verses. I just don't apply them like I should.

but whoever listens to me will dwell secureand will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”
Proverbs 1:33

fear not, for I am with you;be not dismayed, for I am your God;I will strengthen you, I will help you,I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13
For I, the Lord your God,hold your right hand;it is I who say to you, “Fear not,I am the one who helps you.”
Isaiah 41:10,13

I think my fears keep me from completing things, and from trying new things. When my husband and oldest went to Honduras for a mission trip, I was paralyzed with fear. I just KNEW their plane would crash, or that their bus would go off a mountain. I was a wreck and when he failed to call me and inform me that he was okay, I got mad. That is how I handle my fear. With anger. So, in order to handle my fear, I was mad at him the entire time he was gone.

Same thing happened when he went to Mexico. I can't handle the thought of being left alone, and that freaks me out.

When we go somewhere, we have to all go in the same vehicle. There can be no splitting up amongst other friends who are going. One, to avoid the music or conversation choices of the other vehicle, but mostly, because of my irrational fear of them crashing and killing my child.

How did this post go from completion to fear??? Man, I am disconnected today. Well, no. I guess my completion was fear too, right? Why do I have so much fear??

Monday, February 18, 2008

Eating on the floor.....sounds like torture, doesn't it??



Due to our table being covered with dishes, and me being the procrastinator that I am, the kids ate their dinner on the floor. Now, I know how that makes me sound, but honestly?? They loved it. I am sure I could serve a weeks worth of meals on the floor and they would be just happy. Why are kids so strange?? At least my 16 year old sees the silliness of it all...they aren't all lost. :)

forcing babies to clean the fridge


He was helpin' "Ashey" do it. He got mad when we took the "ater" away from him to he couldn't dunk his rag in it anymore. But, in good Nathan fashion, after about 15 minutes, he got over it. Lookie how clean my fridge is....now I just need to shop. UGH. Robyn, you're not that far away...come shop for me. Please-I hate shopping!

Forcing boys to wash dishes....



Boys a'washing the dishes. They had big fun yesterday. One son, Aaron even said that "he could do this forever!" Go ahead son, more power to you! They all had their little drying towels, and they each took turns. We had alot to wash, and they in turn had alot to dry. But we finished, and they were still smiling when they were finished. Project=success!!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Dishes dishes dishes........HELP ME!!!




This is what I just put in storage:
1 knife
9 big spoons
13 small spoons
15 forks
13 bowls
2 small plates
2 tiny plates
18 large plates
7 glasses

This is what I kept:
12 bowls
14 glasses
10 small plates
10 big plates
6 knifes
10 forks
10 small spoons
5 big spoons

Wow!! I nearly took away double what we had, and we still probably have too much.

In case you want the math this adds up to:
28 large plates
25 bowls
21 glasses
14 small plates
25 forks
7 knives
14 big spoons
23 small spoons

We spent the entire day washing all the dishes, cleaning the table, cleaning out the fridge, and sweeping the floors. It was bad...we had so many dishes and pots and pans that we could just lose them and not miss them. We found random dishes everywhere. Please note...our house isnt smelly or dirty, but we do like to eat in our bedroom and the living room. We aren't good picker uppers. This will change, and only because it wont be possible now to do that. We wont have enough. This is what we are left with.

Sunday blahs

Hello, Sunday. Why are you such a hard day to live through? I don't much like the idea of going to church anymore, except my older children do, so I feel guilty. It's not like they hang out with their friends and chit chat during the service. They truly listen to the sermon. Why they want to go must be a reason known only to God. I would love a smaller group setting, or even a home church. Where people truly cared about each other, and it wasn't such a superficial experience.

Why must you drag on soooooo long, and then dramatically be over in the blink of an eye? I always get a headache on your day, Sunday. We are going to church at night to do Financial Peace, so that part is fun, but the rest of your day is just BLAH!

I need to make you more interesting. Maybe I don't much like you because you always signify my husband's last day off. You're the last piece of cake. The end of the good stuff.

I need to wake up with a better attitude. I know this. I just wish I was happier with the choices that my husband wants to make, vs the choice I want to make. He likes going to church. He likes lounging around and doing nothing on your day, Sunday. He like(d) watching absolutely everything on television, and feeling like he needed to sleep all day long. I should be okay with this. Really, I know that....

But Sunday....I have to blame something.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Random bits of the Friday that went on and on and on and on....

Couple of highlights from the longest day in my entire life....

My daughter asked if we had channel changers or mutiple stations on our radios when I was a kid!!! This was an absolutely serious question. The reason she asked it was because I knew all the words to all the songs that were playing on the 90's station. She thinks I am OLD!! I am 34.

My son found a $100.00 bill on the ground on his paper route today. What do we do here? Put an ad in the paper and see if someone claims it? How could someone claim it? Do we keep it and thank God for the blessing? I am at a loss and I want to teach my children the right thing. There was no identification on the bill, and it was just on the sidewalk next to the road.

I basically just threw my 2 year old out the door with Austin to go to wal mart. I have reached my Nathan limit for the day. Does this make me a bad mommy???? Bedtime CANNOT be too close for me right now.

Called doctors office at 3:00 for results from the MRI and the radiologist report printed out for me, and no call back. I really need a new doctor office. Joann....We are in opposite shoes here. :)

Pictures from the MRI...

She was so happy to be there. She smiled at everyone who looked her way...The fact that she hadn't eaten anything since 8 pm the night before didn't seem to faze her. After the I.V. She did not even cry. We prayed before it was done that God would give us favor and let it get installed the first time. Last time it took 8 tries. Shudder... They called a picu nurse in to do it, per our wishes, and it was quick and easy.
Within seconds of installing the sedative. She went out like a light. Last time, it wasn't this easy. This time, her eyes rolled back and she was gone. She did wake up during the dye injection part of the MRI though. We had to stop. She processes narcotics like her momma.
Hope we find out the results soon!!!

Scrapping with Ashley....


My daughter Ashley -14 is taking a photography class in 4-H. These were from a section of the class called "posing a still life." She is loving it!! I am glad we have these kind of opportunities for our children.

She has always loved scrapbooking and taking pictures that it was just natural to want to learn more about it. I have fond memories sitting next to her, cropping pictures, and sharing stickers. She even once wanted all my tiny preview pictures that you get in shutterfly envelopes. Mini pictures of the entire roll. She cut them all up and made a page of tiny tiny photos. I was meticulous, but she loved it.

She has several scrapbooks right now, and I am sure she isn't done. It's our thing. Just another way we can connect with each other, and hang out. I am all for that. I never got to do that with my mother. It's sad.

My oldest and my youngest

She is so happy....so is Austin. Not sure about Adam though. MRI results are still not in. Doctor initially looked and said it looked like her brain was growing, but she couldn't tell much, so we are waiting for the neurologist. I don't wait well....

Inadequate Friday....

I am a weird sort of person. I have and love a large family. However, I feel so inadequate sometimes. I don't much like to cook, but I have to....I don't much like to clean, but I do it every now and again...I am not a girly girl, but my oldest daughter is...

So, what do I make of myself? I go to this monthly dinner hosted by different women from my church with my daughter. Most of these women make their own homemade something or other. They dress it up nicely and have people gush over how good it is. Me....I open up a box, heat it up, and take it along. It is eaten, but I am sure people just know somehow that its not homemade.

I don't have a decorating bone in my body. I have a TON of palm tree stuff in my closet just WAITING to lavish my room to palm tree goodness, but I have no idea where to put it all to make it look good.

I don't have pics on my wall. Again, its a design thing. When I try, it looks all mismatched and makes a bunch of unnecessary holes.

I dont like to sew, and in fact, I broke our sewing machine. Ha...I was only trying to make a partition curtain for my daughters room divider from the kitchen.

I don't wear make-up or jewelry, and in fact the only thing I will wear is my simple gold wedding band that matches my husbands. I can see it, but I can't feel it and that is perfect for me.

I dont wear fingernail polish, fix my hair, enjoy baking, like to shop for stuff (unless we're at a thrift store) or any of this. Am I really supposed to be a man?

All I want to do is be a friend to a couple of people, and play with my kids. Did God forget to give me the talents that most other women have? I know God did not mess up, so why am I so different? I am already different because I have a large family, I don't work outside the home, and I homeschool. Isn't that enough?

Before you all tell me to just try it, you'll like it......I have tried. I fail everytime.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Dumb people part 2

I suppose I shouldn't be name calling, but I am in a mood...and darn it, right now I am just upset.

Dummy #2:a company my husband has done contract labor for.

He was contacted back in October to do a job at a Dollar Store. It could only be before they opened or after they closed. Both times are REALLY inconvinent, but hey...it's money. He did the job..people happy. Next day they called again and said they wanted him to do another job. This was same scenerio. Job done...people happy. They assured him that all he needed to do was fax in the completed job sheet signed by the managers, and the check would come within 60 days. Ugh, but okay.

He did this... Fast forward to December. Hey, we want you to do another job, but this one is out of town!! Will this be okay for you? It's only at before opening time. Well, not really, but when am I going to be paid for those other 2 jobs? We will check into that....

Then they call back and say, would you please do the job? You can do it at night. We liked the job you did already, and if you need night, we can make you happy. Oh, and the other two jobs needed invoices sent in, but if you can agree to do this job, I will take care of it for you...No invoice needed.

We agreed to do it, sent mail to man who said we would be paid for all 3 jobs within a week asking for an email that stated this, did the job, checked email next day for confirmation. It wasnt there....surprise surprise. Sent another mail asking that he give us his word in writing. (I am a skeptical kind of gal....I have feelings about these things) He sent it, and we waited happily at the mail box for a check.

No check....2 weeks later is here, and I call accounting. Where is my husbands check (I am the secretary of our home business...I can do this) Was told that....we need invoices. I told them NO THEY DID NOT, and that I was ASSURED that we would be paid in the next check run. Well, why did he tell you that???? He isn't in accounting?? I tell her, I don't know why he thought he could say that, but he did. And suggested they talk to him about it directly. They tell me that we should have sent invoices in the beginning.

They switched systems at the beginning of the year. The old invoices only said to fax in sheet, which we did. The new sheets said invoice....but since we had talked to the guy, he told us not to bother with any of it, remember? He would take care of it. Much arguing insued, because I am just upset about this, and the doctor, and my daughter, that I could not let it go. They sent me this 5 million word page that was sent in very very very tiny print where it told us to invoice...back then. So, in essence, they were right, but it should have been a little more communicated, and able to read. Seriously...I had to zoom the page about 6 times to read it.

They asked for our w-9 in january....no one told us to invoice then. Why not? Guy assures us we dont need to? What happened there? And.....and.....the amounts they present on the invoices do not match what they assured us they would pay.

So in summary, my husband did a 2.5 hour job late at night, that he normally would have been paid 130.00 for 95.00......another 2.5 hour job at night same rate, that he will be paid 115.00 for and an out of town job that cost gas, time to travel AND 2.5 hours, that he would have been paid 150.00 for 95.00 (that they agreed to pay 115.00 seems to slip everyone's mind)

I do not like this at all, sam I am. Now we get to see if the 3rd job will be approved, make sure the other jobs are not just dismissed in the first place due to it being 4 months ago, and wait until the next check run on the 22nd.

WHY do I need this now?

Dumb people part 1

I am beyond frustrated!!!!! I have dealt with every single dummy this side of Texas since yesterday.

First dummy: took my daughter into doctors office at 4:30. Filled out form stating NEEDS XRAY~possible broken finger. Pretty self explanatory right? Okay...so 5:30 rolls around and we saunter up to the counter and say...how much longer do you think? They say "well you have 3 people in front of you...so not too much longer" Okay....so 6:10 shows up. Ashley? Can you come to the triage desk? She hops right up, goes over there...they look at her black finger and say......Wait for it......."sorry but the xray tech just left 10 minutes ago!!!!!!!

What???? You knew that we needed an xray!! At the very least, you could have sent us for said xray and then made us wait our little turn. Oh, but "that's our policy....to see every patient in the order they are recieved, but your more than welcome to go to the hospital and get that xray.." Like we had time to sit another 2 hours there. They even patted the girl talking to us on the back, like she did such a good job keeping her cool with my husband.

Then this morning we call to complain about said service. We're told that "I am so sorry you had to deal with this.,...this is NOT the way it was supposed to have been done....What can we do to make it up to you??? " We say, if you can get her in NOW, we will come and xray her finger and be happy. He says "let me call you right back about that". Fast forward to 2:45. DID YOU CATCH THAT TIME??? Is that right back to you?? I don't think so.

Well, darn it all, but Ashley wasnt able to sit around holding her breath waiting for your little call, so she was gone then. We told the nice man on the phone that we could take her in at 4:00...No, wait...we told his answering machine that we could do that. Call us back and make sure it's okay...Has he called? Wait for it.......NO!!!!!

I have yet another rant coming soon. You will love it just as much as I do. I am about to go bald! I am not handling this well. ARGH!!


UPDATED TO ADD:: Got there at 4:15...got xray...go in to see doctor...saw doctor at 5:30 and we aren't sure if it's broken or not? Radiologist will look tomorrow and call us with his results. Meanwhile, she is sure sorry that we got that runaround. It was NOT supposed to happen, and finger is currently bandaged up in dark purple. Argh is right!

UPDATED TO ADD AGAIN: It IS broken. We did recieve an apology from the doctor who saw her, and one from the supervisor on the floor...I am still angry that she was treated that way in the first place.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Just for you Robyn...the uhaul story

Okay, so the comment about sticking all the stuff in a rubbermaid container brought this little memory to mind. I know you will get a kick out of it, so laugh all you want. I am tough!

I loved~ loved~ loved the show "clean sweep". It swept me off my feet from the get go. I watched every show with rapt attention, and it warmed my heart a little to know that there were in fact other people like me out there. I thought the premise of the show was fabulous. Get everything together and put it all in one spot, and sort, and purge, and kick!!! Oh, sorry. Got the aerobic vibe there. Anyway, I wanted to do this clean sweep approach. Only it was winter...and cold. No garage as we lived in a 4 bedroom trailer. It was filled to the hilt with kids, and beds, and stuff.

So, I had the BRIGHT idea to rent a uhaul. Stick it in the driveway for the weekend and fill it to the brim with all our junk and then sort, and purge and kick. And put away in a designated place. We dutifully filled box upon box with stuff. Got the uhaul. I am sure the entire neighborhood was saying "yes!!! The crazy family with all those kids are finally moving!!!" Little did they know.

Paid for the uhaul for 2 days. When we got it, we hadn't "finished" packing all the boxes, but no problem. We had the uhaul for 2 days. Finished filling boxes. Finished loading uhaul, or so we thought. Was so exhausted by the sheer effort of this ordeal, that we couldn't move the next day. We didn't want to waste the day though, so I just kept on packing MORE boxes. My husband thought we should start the sorting end of our plan, but I was exhilarated by the empty house. Wheeeee!!! There is so much space and room to ballet kick.

Needless to say, by the time it came to sort and purge and kick (tee hee), it was time to get the uhaul back. Can you believe that???!!!??? We wasted the entire 2 days loading boxes and loading a stupid uhaul. So, then we had to hurry up and UNLOAD the uhaul before we got charged another day. We were broke, so this wasn't an option.

So now, we had a house full of boxes and a neighborhood who was sad that we were staying!!! They just couldn't figure out why the uhaul was there if we didn't go anywhere! So sorry to have been decietful. It wasn't a very child friendly kind of place.

I never did get to sort and purge and kick because I was too sore, and overwhelmed, and needing to get things out of the boxes that we just had to use, so we just had to unpack everything and look at each other, and realize that we just wasted 100.00 and 2 days of our lives that we couldn't get back!!

It was good exercise, though. :)

The king on his throne


This is the young man who is driving me nuts! He gets it, but then he doesn't get it. I could be okay with it if he decided to call it quits, but he wants to keep trying. It's just the constant "potty potty potty" he says over and over, and the accidents, and the pee a little, leave and pee a little and leave...rinse repeat! ARGH! Did I mention the accidents?




He is going to a babysitter tomorrow with his potty chair. I wonder how that will go?? Save me......




Oh and this photo was NOT a set up. He truly wanted his "blankie" on the potty with him.